Somewhat Questionable Relationship Advice from BOYFRIEND '70

I've just properly realised that I won't be able to live in my white summer blouse all the time now that the weathers getting chillier, but will I be able to pull off a winter blouse as well as these boys from Status Quo did?? The ruffles, the mullet, the co-ordinating high waisted flare pants. But to be honest I'd probably dress like this if my girlfriend was going by the treat 'em mean, keem 'em keen approach that 'Boyfriend '70 Book' (the same edition which this status quo pic was from) advises. To be honest I'm feeling a little sorry for some of the boyfriends of the '70s, and also a little puzzled at how things worked out after this advice was followed.
A shortened list of pointers from the article is below:

HOW to make him love you even more

Don't listen to his troubles, but moan at great length about yours

Chew gum with your mouth open

Stop and redo an entire make-up job at every shop window

Tell him that the only reason you're dating him is because he spends all of his pay packet on you. Imply that there is nothing else attractive about him

Rin g him up every hour on the hour and ask why he hasn't telephoned. Doesn't he love you anymore?

When you visit his Mum and Dad, ignore them both and spend the entire time talking to your boyfriend. You have nothing in common with them anyway (you figured that out in the first five minutes) so why waste your breath.

Oggle his best friend whenever possible.
Tell him how lucky he is to have a good looking friend.

Don't ever remember his birthday. Yours is far more important.

Finally, read this article to him (clicking your tongue) and say you can't understand how any girl could be so awful.